Most families don’t start looking for home care because they’ve done a careful review. They start looking because something has changed, and they’re not sure what to do about it.
If you’ve noticed your Mum or Dad struggling more than usual, or you’ve come away from a visit feeling uneasy, this guide is for you. It isn’t a clinical checklist. It’s a practical way to make sense of what you’re seeing, and to think through what might help.
Why it’s easy to miss the signs
When you visit regularly, changes can be gradual. You adjust to the new normal. When you visit less often, the contrast can be a shock. Either way, it’s easy to wonder whether you’re overreacting.
You aren’t. And noticing something is the right first step.
The changes families most commonly describe aren’t dramatic. They’re quiet. A kitchen that used to be spotless. Meals that aren’t being made. A bill that hasn’t been paid. A bruise that can’t quite be explained.
Physical signs to look out for
Personal hygiene and appearance
This is often the first thing family members notice, partly because it can feel awkward to mention.
Look for:
- Wearing the same clothes for several days
- Hair unwashed, nails very long, or personal hygiene that seems to have slipped
- Difficulty managing buttons, zips, or getting in and out of the bath or shower
- Reluctance to bathe or get dressed, even when prompted
Sometimes this is a practical problem. Getting in and out of the bath has become unsafe. Buttons have become too difficult with arthritic hands. Sometimes it reflects low mood, low energy, or early memory changes. Your GP can help work out which.
Weight loss and appetite
An older person losing weight without trying, or eating very little, deserves attention. Signs include:
- Food in the fridge that’s gone off
- Very little food in the cupboards
- Meals not being prepared, or meals skipped
- Significant weight loss over a few months
- Drinks going unfinished, which can signal problems swallowing or fatigue
Poor nutrition and dehydration can affect energy, memory, balance, and healing. They’re worth taking seriously.
Mobility and falls
Falls are one of the most common reasons families contact us. But falls are often preceded by smaller signs:
- Moving more slowly, or holding onto walls and furniture more than before
- Reluctance to go out, climb stairs, or move around the house
- Unexplained bruises, particularly on arms and shins
- Saying they’ve had a “little tumble” but not mentioning it until later
A visit from a physiotherapist or occupational therapist can help identify home adaptations that reduce fall risk. Home care can support confidence with movement and daily tasks. Your GP or local community health team can make referrals.
Practical signs at home
The state of the house
A home that was always kept in order and is now noticeably different is worth noticing. This doesn’t mean criticising how someone chooses to live. It means a pattern of change.
Look for:
- Unwashed dishes, rubbish not put out, or laundry piling up
- Unopened post, unpaid bills, or letters in a drawer untouched
- Items in unusual places, like keys in the fridge or glasses in a kitchen cupboard
- Trips hazards, like rugs that are becoming a risk, or clutter on the stairs
Medication
- Tablets left untouched or taken erratically
- Confusion about what medication is for or when to take it
- Repeat prescriptions not collected
- Old or out-of-date medication mixed in with current prescriptions
If you’re worried about medication, speak to the GP practice. A medication review is a reasonable thing to ask for, and your parent has the right to have one.
Emotional and cognitive signs
Memory and orientation
We all forget things. But some patterns of forgetting are worth paying attention to.
- Repeating the same question several times in one conversation
- Forgetting recent events, but remembering things from decades ago clearly
- Getting confused about the day, time, or what month it is
- Leaving the hob on, getting lost on a familiar route, or forgetting appointments
- Becoming anxious or distressed in situations that didn’t used to cause worry
None of these signs on their own necessarily means dementia. But if you’re noticing several of them, it’s worth a conversation with the GP. A memory assessment can provide clarity, and an earlier diagnosis usually means more choice and more support.
Mood and withdrawal
- Becoming quieter, less interested in things they used to enjoy
- Not seeing friends or going out as they used to
- Seeming flat, tearful, or more anxious than usual
- Saying things like “what’s the point” or appearing disengaged
Social withdrawal and low mood in older adults are sometimes put down to “just getting old.” They don’t have to be accepted as inevitable. Companionship, routine, and appropriate support can make a real difference.
What families often say
“It was a big step for us as a family to have extra support in to help with her changing needs, but the staff have been very understanding and always reply to any questions promptly, and are very flexible to Mum’s needs.”
Gemma, daughter of a client we support (January 2026)
This is one of the things families tell us most often. The decision to bring in outside support feels bigger than it turns out to be. The starting point is usually a conversation, not a commitment.
What to do if you’re worried
Talk to the person first
If your Mum or Dad is able to have the conversation, start there. Ask how they’re finding things. Not “I’ve noticed you’re struggling.” More: “How are you finding it lately? Is there anything that feels harder than it used to?”
People often know what they need but haven’t asked for help. Some will welcome the conversation. Some will push back. That’s normal.
Speak to the GP
For anything that involves physical symptoms, mobility, memory concerns, or medication, the GP is the right first call. You can ask for a home visit if your parent can’t travel easily. You can also ask to speak to the GP yourself, to share your concerns, though the GP may not be able to share information back unless your parent has consented.
Get a care needs assessment
Anyone in England has the right to a care needs assessment from their local authority, regardless of their finances. In Nottinghamshire, this is carried out by Nottinghamshire County Council Adult Social Care. You or your parent can request one. It helps identify what support might be needed and what might be funded.
Consider what home care could look like
Home care doesn’t have to mean someone coming in every day. It can start with a few short visits a week to help with washing and dressing. Or a regular companionship visit. Or a medication prompt in the morning. Support can be built around what’s actually needed, and adjusted as things change.
A note on resistance
Some people are reluctant to accept help. The idea of a stranger in the house, or an admission that something is needed, can feel like a loss of independence.
Viv, whose father is now supported by our team, described it this way: “He wasn’t happy about strangers coming into his home but he very quickly realised how fantastic they are.”
It’s worth knowing that carers approach these visits with patience and an awareness that trust takes time to build. A gentle start, with clear boundaries and the person’s own preferences respected, is usually the right approach.
What a first conversation with us looks like
If you’d like to talk through what you’re seeing, you don’t have to have it all worked out first. Families often contact us at this stage, before they’ve made any decisions, simply to think through options.
We’ll ask you about your Mum or Dad’s situation, what you’ve been noticing, and what kind of support might help. If home care from Helping at Home seems like a good fit, we’ll explain what a care assessment involves and what happens next. If it isn’t the right fit, we’ll say so and point you towards other options.
There’s no pressure, and no obligation.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my parent needs home care or something more intensive?
If your parent can still live at home safely with some practical support, home care is usually the starting point. It can range from a few short visits a week to several calls a day. If needs are more complex, or if there are significant medical or nursing needs, your GP, community nurse, or social worker can help advise on what level of care is appropriate.
Can I arrange home care for my parent if they live in a different area?
Yes. Many of the families who contact us are adult children living elsewhere, arranging care for a parent in and around Newark, Grantham, Southwell, Ollerton, or Bingham. You don’t need to be local to have a first conversation.
What if my parent refuses to accept help?
This is very common. It’s worth starting with their GP if there are health concerns, and with a gentle conversation focused on practical help rather than “care.” If there are serious concerns about someone’s safety or mental capacity, your local authority adult safeguarding team can advise.
How much does home care cost in Newark?
Helping at Home charges £31 per hour for standard visiting care, or £17 for a 30-minute visit. There is a £2.50 travel charge per visit. VAT is not charged, as home care is exempt under welfare services rules. See our costs and funding page for information on Direct Payments, NHS Continuing Healthcare, and Attendance Allowance.
How quickly can care start?
That depends on what’s needed. If you contact us and care is appropriate, we’ll discuss availability as part of that conversation. For urgent situations, including hospital discharge, we have a fast-track enquiry route.
Thinking about next steps?
If you’ve been noticing changes and wondering what to do, a conversation with our team is a reasonable place to start. We’re based in Newark, rated Good by the Care Quality Commission, and hold a 9.9 rating on homecare.co.uk.
Call us on 01636 646915, email hello@helpingathome.co.uk, or request a callback and we’ll be in touch at a time that suits you. Office hours are 8am to 6pm, Monday to Saturday.
There’s no obligation. The first conversation is just a conversation.
